Fitzcarraldo
by nataliespeaks
Summary: Edward is a rugged mechanic with a troubling past, that's eating him alive. Bella is a sweet and feisty college freshman with undying ambitions, who lost her parents a year prior. When they meet, they can't deny the attraction for one another, but when secrets come out how closely related are their lives after all?
1. Fitzcarraldo

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, no characters or Twilight. Just the idea. **_  
_

_Fitzcarraldo: n. an image that somehow becomes lodged deep in your brain—maybe washed there by a dream, or smuggled inside a book, or planted during a casual conversation—which then grows into a wild and impractical vision that keeps scrambling back and forth in your head like a dog stuck in a car that's about to arrive home, just itching for a chance to leap headlong into reality._

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November 16th, 2012

11:50pm.

10 minutes until the anniversary of the accident.

This cold November night was so similar to last year. Deadly quiet, the faint noise of sirens blaring in the distance. Warm blood on my hands, cold sweat on my neck and forehead. A chilling November night. I ran.

11:52pm.

I blew smoke out of my mouth, before placing the cigarette back between my chapped lips. I hated smoking. I wanted to quit. But the numbness it brought me, was like being addicted to cocaine. I craved the numb rush it brought. I desired anything that would temporarily eradicate the pain. The pain. The pain was so evident in her moans—his cries for help. The broken glass. My blurred vision. The overwhelming pounding in my brain that kept me from helping. The fear of being reprimanded for an accident I never wanted to happen. I ran.

11:55pm.

I threw down another shot of Jack Daniels, anticipating the burn as it rushed down my throat. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, wishing I could end the rubatosis. The sound was devastating, I wanted to rip my heart out and watch it bleed, like I watched their bodies—watched the life fade from their eyes. I ran.

11:58pm.

But I know why I'm still alive right now. Because I deserved to live like this. I deserved to live with this pain, and this guilt. God laughs down at me, knowing that his punishment is a lot worse than death. Because with death you can escape this pain. I ran.

12:00pm.

Welcome to hell, motherfucker.

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**A/N: Each chapter will use a deep and meaningful word for the title (which will be posted at the beginning of each), and that definition will be the theme of the chapter. All words/definitions come from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. It's amazing, seriously, google it if you like relatable words. This story is very different from "Maintaining" which I am still continuing. I'm a little more excited about this one so this may be update this more. I'm not sure. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is short I know, but I'm just introducing a little about the story. To test the waters so to speak. **

**-Natalie  
**


	2. Deep Cut

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, all recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Enjoy.**

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_Deep cut: n. an emotion you haven't felt in years that you might have forgotten about completely if your emotional playlist hadn't been left on shuffle—a feeling whose opening riff tugs on all your other neurons like a dog on a leash waiting for you to open the door._

**Bella **

"Eliminating federal government programs and spending would crush the middle and lower class and probably lead to a revolt as well as collapse economies around the world. So I agree with the politicians who believe it is essential to our economy." I finished, smiling at the room of students.

"Thank you Isabella." Professor Miller replied, before the class erupted into applause.

I smiled at him, before taking my seat.

"Alright, that's enough for today. Don't forget, your final projects are due this Friday the 17th. Class dismissed."

I stood up from my desk, half frozen at the words he just spoke. Friday. The 17th of November. The day my parents died.

"You totally nailed it!" Alice grinned, taking my attention away from the grisly memories that were flooding through my head.

"Ugh, I wish I was as smart as you."

"What are you talking about? You're hella smart Ali. And it took me 3 hours just to do research for that Macroeconomics paper." I rolled my eyes.

She scoffed. "I know! If the subject wasn't so boring, and we didn't need it for our general education requirements, I would not be taking it. Trust me."

We both giggled.

"So, are we heading to lunch?" Alice asked.

"Oh yeah sure. Are we meeting Rose?"

"Yeah, if she isn't stuck up that new guy she's been dating's ass. Let me text her."

"Okay."

I waited awkwardly while Alice tapped away on her phone.

"Alright, we're meeting her at Qdoba." Alice confirmed before we headed to the restaurant.

After ordering our food and sitting down, Rosalie had not stopped talking about the guy she had been seeing. Emmett, I think.

"And you guys, you have to see his dimples! I swear he's the one! The one I've always dreamed about." Rose gushed.

"Rosalie, you've been on two dates with the guy." Alice pointed her fork at Rose, before digging back into her naked burrito. "How can you possibly think that?"

"Because Alice, he's not like anyone else. I swear. He actually got smart with me! No guy has enough courage to do that."

"Oh he's a keeper." Alice replied sarcastically.

They continued talking while I barely listened, their voices echoing in the background. I poked around in my taco, crushing the shell around all the contents. I was slowly losing my appetite as I continued thinking about Friday. If I was going to visit them. It was so hard to. Sometimes I forgot they were even dead. Sometimes I felt like I would go home to visit them, and they would be there. Mom in the kitchen attempting to make dinner, Dad in the living room watching the Seahawks game. Then Mom would groan about how terrible of a cook she was, before Dad picked up the phone and ordered pizza, knowing that pizza was his only option that night.

"Bella!" Rosalie shouted.

I jumped and looked up. "Huh?"

"I've been calling your name for like 5 minutes now. Are you okay?" Rosalie asked. "You've barely touched your taco."

"Actually, she more than touched it, she crushed it." Alice smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but I think I'm gonna go. Do you still need a ride home?"

Alice knew why I was acting the way I did, and placed her hand on mine. "Bella—."

"Alice—please." I said through grit teeth. "Come on Rose." I nodded towards the door.

Alice and Rosalie exchanged looks before Rose got up and followed me to my car. I turned the key; only to hear my engine roar to a start, then sputter back to death.

"No. No. No!" I hit the steering wheel and threw my head back.

"Bella calm down. Look, Alice will just give us a ride. And Emmett works in a garage, he can do some work on your car. I would myself, but this dinosaur needs a real doctor." She smiled.

I rolled my eyes and smiled at her. "Thanks Rose."

"No problem."

After calling the towing service and having them take my truck to the shop, Alice drove Rose and I back to our apartments before going home herself.

"P.J!?" I called as I walked into my apartment. My Yorkshire terrier ran to the door, at the sound of my voice, barking excitedly.

"Hey boy." I pet him before heading into the kitchen to get dog food. P.J continued to bark loudly while I poured the food into his bowl.

"Alright boy, there you go." I smiled and placed the bowl in front of him, before heading into my bedroom and slamming down on the bed.

Wanting nothing more than to sleep, I groaned when my phone vibrated on my nightstand.

**B**

**Here's Em's number. **

**He's good for tomorrow any time before 7. **

**Good luck, and tell me what you think. **

**But look, don't touch. ;)**

**Rose**

I rolled my eyes before saving the number in my phone and putting it back on the nightstand. My mind wandered to today's events and what Friday was. I hadn't thought about it in what felt like a long time, and it was just last year. I wanted to forget everything about it. I wished it had never happened. Without my parents I was left alone in this world. No siblings to talk to, no one. I had no one. Tears fell from my eyes, exhausting me more than I actually was. And before I could blink again, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N: ****Edward and Bella meet in the next chapter. Oh what fun this will be. ;) See you then. **

**-Natalie  
**


	3. Hanker Sore

**Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing. **

**Enjoy.  
**

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_hanker sore: adj. finding a person so attractive it actually kinda pisses you off._

**Edward**

"Where's Emmett?" Alex asked me, as he wiped oil off of his hands.

I shrugged. "What the fuck do I look like, Emmett's keeper?"

"What the hell is your problem?" Alex asked.

"Nothing, I just—I have a lot on my mind right now." I lifted my head up from the car I was looking at. "The radiator on this car's shot. Tell Old Man Peterson it's gonna be around 500 bucks."

Alex nodded, and put a hand on my back. "You need to lighten up man. Find a girl, get laid. Something." He laughed.

I smirked. "Whatever dude."

"Sorry, I'm late guys!" Emmett ran in, still buttoning his shirt.

"Oh, don't tell me you went out with that blonde chick again." I replied.

"Her name's Rosalie and yes I did. She's fine as hell, dude."

"So is every other girl you fuck, Emmett." I went back to looking under the hood of Jenkins' car.

"Yeah, but she isn't just some other girl. I mean I really like her. Like, you know—I wanna take her out on dates and shit. Her being a little sex kitten, is just a perk." Emmett defended before he clocked in at the computer.

"How old did you say this chick was again?" Alex asked.

"19."

Alex nodded, before looking at me. "See Edward? Emmett here is happy with his girl. All you need is some action, and you'll be good. That's if you_ can_ get some." Alex smiled, before leaving the work area.

"Fuck him dude." I shook my head.

"Who pissed in your Wheaties?" Emmett asked walking over to me, and leaning on the car.

"I'm just not in a good mood, alright?" I shoved him off the car, and slammed the hood down.

"Well suck it up for right now. One of Rose's friends is coming in to get her car looked at, and I don't want her going to tell Rose I'm an ass, alright?"

I smirked. "It's Rose now, is it?"

"Shut up man." He pushed my shoulder and laughed, before a roaring engine interrupted our amusement.

"That's her car." Emmett nodded towards the 1953 red Chevy pick-up, being towed in. One of the oldest cars I've seen in Seattle.

The driver got out and walked over to Em and I.

"Here's the paperwork." He handed us a folder with the car's history and problems.

"Thanks.: I replied.

He nodded, and unhooked the car before backing out and leaving.

"Man this car is ancient." Emmett said, kicking the door. "How it still drives is beyond me."

I shook my head before looking in the folder.

Owner of the car: Isabella Swan.

For a second I was shocked that a girl wanted to drive this hunk 'o' junk, but hey to each her own.

"Alright, well you got this right buddy?" Emmett clapped my back.

"Hell no. It's your girlfriend's friend. You do it." I replied shoving the folder in his arms.

"Please? I just got a text from Rose and—."

"You just got here Emmett. Are you really that horny?"

"Is that even a question?"

"Fine whatever. But I get the pay for this job."

"Cool, thanks bro." He smiled, handed me the folder and walked off.

I rolled my eyes and lifted the hood, before checking out the engine. Admittedly it wasn't that bad under the hood. It must've really been taken care of. After inspecting the car and trying to start it a couple of times it seemed as though a piston was misfiring.

"Excuse me?" A soft, angelic voice called throughout the garage. I lifted my head up from the hood, and looked into the eyes of undoubtedly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She stared at me with her big brown doe eyes. Her perfect round and pink lips formed an "O" as she stared back at me. My pants tightened as I gawked at the rest of her body. Her skinny but curvy figure left so much to the imagination. I had never seen a girl like her before.

"Um—this—this is my car." She stuttered, breaking my mind from my fantasy.

"Isabella?" I asked.

She nodded, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. I groaned internally.

"So what seems to be the problem?" she asked.

"Right—well something's causing a piston to misfire." I looked at her.

"And how much will that cost to get fixed?" She asked, as she looked into her engine.

"Well I'm not sure what's causing the piston to misfire, but if it's a spark plug, maybe around 30-60 bucks. If it's a coil figure around 100-150, if it's an injector around 200 bucks, if it's a head gasket it will be around 400-700."

"Shit." She muttered kicking her tire. "Well when can you figure out what it is?"

I shrugged. "When I get the time I guess."

Her expression changed from idle to pissed in a flash. "What do you mean, _when you get the time_?" She put her hands on her hips. "Isn't this a business? Aren't you supposed to work based on _my_ needs? Don't you think maybe people have somewhere to go, or somewhere to be? Customer service ring a bell in that mop covered head of yours?"

My eyebrows lowered in anger. Because of her smart ass mouth, it was actually making me upset at how beautiful I thought she was. _Really_ upset. "Look, I figured out the problem, just not the source. Besides, this wasn't even my job. Emmett is supposed to be doing the fixing."

"Well why isn't _Emmett_ doing it then? Maybe he'd do it a lot faster than _you_."

"Yeah right. Emmett can't stop fucking your friend long enough to even look under the hood. I did you a favor, _Isabella_." I spat her name. "I believe a thank you is in order."

"I'll thank you when the job is done, asshole." She shot back, before storming out of the garage.

"Well then, have fun walking." I smirked, before slamming the hood down.

"Go to hell." She shot back, turning around to face me.

"I'm already there sweetheart!" I called after her, watching her ass sway as she walked away.

I hated this girl already, but I was still incredibly entranced by her looks. And somehow, the little spitfire in her, made her even sexier. Even if she was annoying as fuck.

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**A/N: In the next chapter, it's the anniversary of the accident. I'll see you soon. **

**-Natalie  
**


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